The Lounge Philosopher

What It Feels Like When Your Nervous System Won’t Switch Off

I think we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. Some days and some nights can feel endless. Your body is tense, your chest is tight, and your mind is racing. You can’t breathe properly. Tears stream down your face for no apparent reason. You feel frozen, trapped, like there is nowhere to go and nothing you can do. Yet, in reality, you are safe. You are not in danger. And still, your body screams otherwise.

This is the human nervous system at work, specifically, the fight, flight, or freeze response. It’s designed to protect you, but sometimes it gets stuck, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and out of control.

The Three Faces of Survival Mode

When the body perceives a threat, it reacts instinctively:

• Fight: Anger, defensiveness, a sudden urge to confront or assert yourself.
• Flight: The desire to escape, hide, or remove yourself from the situation entirely.
• Freeze: Feeling immobilised, numb, or trapped, unable to move or make decisions.

Sometimes all three collide at once. During the fight-or-flight response, your body floods with adrenaline, which triggers a cascade of other hormones and neurotransmitters, primarily noradrenaline (norepinephrine) and cortisol. Your heart races, your muscles shake, your thoughts spin, and yet a part of you feels completely frozen. It’s exhausting, confusing, and frightening, and it can happen to anyone.

What It Feels Like in Real Time

Imagine sitting alone in a room, trying to breathe, while the world outside is loud and chaotic. The noise might be literal, like slamming doors, shouting voices, or it could be internal: racing thoughts, spiralling worries, or memories of past conflicts. Every instinct screams at you to react, to escape, to protect yourself.

You want to run. You want to fight. You want to collapse and hide. But you are stuck. Tears fall, your body trembles, and it feels like the storm inside will never end.

This is not a weakness. This is your body doing exactly what it was designed to do: to keep you alive.

Finding Calm in the Chaos

Even when trapped in survival mode, there are ways to soothe your nervous system:

1. Breathe: Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale through your mouth for 6. Repeat. Longer exhales signal to the body that it is safe to calm down.
2. Ground Yourself: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, and 3 things you hear. Bringing attention to your senses reconnects you with the present.
3. Create a Safe Space: Wrap yourself in a blanket (or use a weighted blanket), dim the lights, sip a warm drink, or play soft music. Small comforts send the signal: “It’s safe now.”
4. Release Emotions: Crying, journaling, praying or whispering affirmations allows your body to release stress chemicals and reset.
5. Body Awareness: Gentle stretches, rocking, or placing your hands on your chest and face can help dissolve freeze responses.

Why This Isn’t Weakness

It’s easy to feel embarrassed or frustrated when you “can’t handle” your emotions. But getting stuck in fight, flight, or freeze is not failure. It’s biology. Your body is doing its job, even if your mind feels powerless.

Every tear, every shallow breath, every moment of feeling trapped is proof that your nervous system is working. With patience, practice, and gentle care, it can learn to settle again.

A Final Thought

Sometimes the most challenging part is simply surviving the night. And that’s enough. You don’t need to fix everything immediately. You don’t need to have all the answers. You only need to stay present, breathe, and allow yourself to ride out the storm.

“You are not broken. You are not failing. You are alive. And that is remarkable. This too shall pass…”

Disclaimer / Author Note

I’m sharing these thoughts here as The Lounge Philosopher. I’m not a psychologist, therapist, or doctor, just someone who’s been there and noticed that so many of us struggle with the same things. I hope what I share offers some understanding, comfort, or perspective, but it’s not a replacement for professional support if you need it.

If this post resonated with you, or if you want to explore the topic of nervous system responses, trauma, and self-regulation a little deeper, here are some books, articles, and resources I’ve found helpful.

Further Reading & Resources

Books

1. “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
   • Classic on how trauma affects the nervous system and body, with practical strategies for regulation.
2. “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma” by Peter Levine
   • Explains fight/flight/freeze responses and exercises to release trauma stored in the body.
3. “In an Unspoken Voice” by Peter Levine
   • Focuses on somatic (body-based) trauma recovery, building on his earlier work.
4. “The Myth of Normal” by Gabor Maté(or “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”)
   • Explores trauma, stress, and societal pressures on our bodies and minds. Accessible, compassionate, and grounded in science and experience.

Articles & Online Resources

1. Bessel van der Kolk – “How Trauma Lives in the Body”
   • Harvard Health Blog summary
   • Easy-to-read explanation of nervous system responses.
2. The Polyvagal Institute
   • https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org
   • Practical guides, videos, and exercises for understanding fight/flight/freeze and calming your nervous system.
3. The Mighty / Psychology Today Blogs
   • Search for “fight, flight, freeze” or “nervous system regulation.” Many first-person stories help normalise the experience.

SPOTIFY link – biblical affirmations

• Link