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Let’s be real. Modern feminism is broken, and I’m not afraid to say it. It SUCKS! I’m not a feminist. In fact, I would probably refer to myself as an “anti-feminist”, and before you gasp, hear me out.
Somewhere between “girl power” and “boss babe,” we lost the plot. Feminism promised equality but delivered confusion. Men are unsure if they’re allowed to lead, women are exhausted from trying to be everything, and relationships are collapsing under the weight of competition instead of connection.
I’m here for real women doing real work, taking responsibility, showing up for their families, and building lives with integrity, not ego. Not for keyboard warriors and so-called “influencers” preaching empowerment while avoiding accountability. Not for people who shout about freedom but can’t commit to the discipline that makes freedom possible.
I don’t want to compete with men. I want men to lead with strength, protect with purpose, and show up fully, so women can step into who God created us to be: nurturing, grounded, and powerful in our own divine way. Men and women complement each other by design; equality doesn’t mean sameness.
And yes! I want a man. Not because I’m weak, but because we were created to complement each other. I don’t want to worry about the car service, carrying 20-litre water bottles, or fixing dishwasher hoses. I want a man to do what men are designed to do! Strong, protective, and capable, so I can do what I was created to do (except cooking, perhaps! My kitchen does hate me, but I can try and fight that one…!) That’s partnership. That’s balance. That’s how it was meant to be.
True strength isn’t about dominance. It’s about design. We’ve lost respect for God’s design by pretending equality means being the same. Men and women are different, and that’s exactly the point.
The Proverbs 31 Woman
Let’s talk about the Proverbs 31 woman for a minute. I’ll be honest, she makes me tired just reading about her! She’s running businesses, feeding her family, helping the poor, and somehow still has time to keep her home in order and her husband proud. Like… how? Does she drink rocket fuel for breakfast?
But here’s what we forget. She didn’t do all that to prove anything. She wasn’t in a competition with her husband. She was in partnership with him. She did what she was called to do, with joy, grace, and purpose, and he honoured her for it. That’s what we’ve lost today: mutual honour.
- She manages her household efficiently (Proverbs 31:15), rising early to provide for her family and ensure everything runs smoothly. Discipline and foresight, not weakness.
- She works with her hands (Proverbs 31:13,19), making clothes, buying and selling goods, and providing practically for her household.
- She’s entrepreneurial and owns land (Proverbs 31:16,24): “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.” “She makes linen garments and sells them, supplying merchants with sashes.” She commands authority over property and finances -independent yet strategic.
- She’s generous and helps the poor (Proverbs 31:20), stretching out her hand to those in need. True strength includes compassion.
- Her husband respects and trusts her (Proverbs 31:11–12,28–29). Her wisdom and competence elevate him and their family, proving that partnership strengthens both sides.
- She’s wise, strong, and dignified (Proverbs 31:25), facing the future without fear and dressing in strength. Her power comes from character, competence, and alignment with God’s design, not rebellion or ego.
The takeaway? The Proverbs 31 woman is strong, capable, independent, AND a partner. She balances work, family, faith, and generosity. She embodies empowerment without chaos, a model for women who want to be real, grounded, and purpose-driven; not caught up in modern feminist confusion.
Restoring Balance in Modern Relationships
And yes. Scripture makes it clear: women are called to respect and honour their husbands, including not withholding physical affection (1 Corinthians 7:3–5), and men are equally called to love their wives sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25). Too often, people take Scripture out of context, like saying women must submit to their husbands. That does NOT mean we are their slaves. God didn’t hand Eve over to Adam to be bossed around. He designed a partnership of love, respect, and shared purpose. Husbands who fail to love their wives as Christ loved the church will face serious spiritual consequences – scripture says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7).
It’s not one-sided. It’s give and take, love and respect, building and supporting. Both sides have a role, and both are accountable to God for how they love each other.
We were never meant to fight for power. We were meant to step into purpose, complement each other, and build something lasting. Strength doesn’t come from imitating the opposite gender. It comes from understanding your design, fully immersing yourself in it, and appreciating your partner’s design.
Closing Thoughts
Real empowerment isn’t about slogans, rebellion, or pretending men and women are the same. It’s about integrity, purpose, and partnership; stepping fully into the roles we were designed for.
It’s about women embracing their God-given strength while honouring men who lead with love and courage. It’s about building families, communities, and lives that thrive on respect, balance, and mutual accountability.
When we honour design, stop competing, and start complementing each other, we unlock true power; the kind that lasts, blesses, and leaves a legacy.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Agree, disagree, or want to have a proper discussion? Drop a comment, and let’s talk.
This is The Lounge Philosopher, where truth still matters, femininity isn’t an apology, and strength looks a lot like grace.
The Lounge Philosopher 