The Lounge Philosopher

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Hello, my fellow Loungers!

After hearing enough online dating horror stories from my single girlfriends to last me three lifetimes, I jokingly made a video about doing a “social experiment” and venturing into the world of online dating.

Now, firstly, I need to clarify something.

The people on my social media are not twenty anymore.

We are not doing tequila shots and dancing on tables until 2 in the morning… or not every weekend anymore!

We are at the age where somebody says:

“I bought an air fryer.”

…and suddenly a crowd forms. Someone wants specifications. Someone asks where it was on special. Someone else starts discussing electricity usage. Someone throws in a few recipes.

This is where we are in life now.

But something happened after I posted the video.

One of my best friends sent me a message saying men are probably afraid of me and that one day a strong man will come along and sweep me off my feet. I know the message came straight from her heart, and she genuinely believes I deserve someone really special and he will find me (as do I).

Now, before we all get carried away… no. I am not sitting here thinking I’m some intimidating dragon lady making grown men break out in a cold sweat.

I mean, honestly… and the next part is some of what I’ve shared on my video as the “preview” for this blog:

Most days, I look like I need coffee, a blanket and a nap.

But it did make me think.

Maybe independence gets misunderstood.

I’ve been single for a long time. Not “mostly” by choice. Definitely by choice.

I don’t need somebody attached to my hip.

I don’t need to know where somebody is every second of the day.

I don’t need fancy dinners, expensive gifts or grand gestures.

I don’t care about status, titles, money, what car you drive, or where you live.

I could not care if a man has hair or is completely bald. If he has a belly or not.

You can be someone who has everything and still be an @ss with no character or integrity, which, in my opinion, makes everything you have “null and void.”

But maybe that’s just me…

Please don’t buy me flowers because I may sneeze on you! As for chocolates? Not into sugar that much either, so a chocolate once in a blue moon is REALLY good, but I don’t even need that.

Give me coffee (okay, I can very easily say yes to some Bubbly, and here is where I may get picky with a really good MCC!). Give me a boiled potato with butter, salt and pepper, and my heart does a happy dance!

Give me kindness… gentleness.

Give me music. And then some more music. THIS part stirs my spirit, not just my soul…

Give me laughter. A whole lot of it! If I can’t laugh, and sometimes do the real, ugly, out-of-your-belly, knee-slapping kind of laughter, I might probably die young!

Give me deep conversations.

Oh, hugs. I’m a hugger.

Give me hugs.

Done.

But maybe that’s where people get confused.

Low maintenance does not mean needing nothing.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear from someone.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want or appreciate effort.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel important to someone.

Consistency isn’t somebody messaging “Hello, beautiful” every five minutes.

Consistency is simply this:

If you care about me today…

Please care about me tomorrow too.

Maybe finding love isn’t harder these days.

Maybe we have simply become very good at staying in touch while forgetting how to truly connect.

We send quick texts. We react with hearts. We send emojis. We like photos.

We ask “How are you?” and before the answer comes, we are already scrolling again.

We “communicate” all day long, yet many of us still feel lonely.

Maybe because real communication was never only about words in a text, but more about presence.

About someone sitting across from you over coffee and feeling like they are actually there.

Not because they are perfect.

Not because they complete you.

But because for a moment you feel truly seen and truly heard.

So maybe the social experiment still sounds like fun.

Maybe I will still report back and see what strange and wonderful creatures exist out there in the dating wilderness.

But if I’m being honest…

I think I realised something while writing this.

I don’t think I was made for 2D.

Not endless swiping.

Not perfectly filtered profiles.

Not trying to squeeze a whole person into a few photographs and a short bio.

I think I was made for 3D.

For eye contact.

For the exchange of energy.

For laughter across a table.

For deep conversations over coffee (or bubbles).

For someone sitting across from me and feeling real.

And maybe, if I’m lucky, sitting across from someone and feeling my entire being exhale.

Thank you again for joining me in my Lounge.

Feel free to comment, and let’s talk!

See you soon!

Much love,

Suz